A Guide To Preparing Your Fertility Health for the Holidays

It’s almost that time of year again. 

The holiday season can be filled with mixed emotions for many people, both joy and stress at the same time. These emotions can be particularly heightened during a trying-to-conceive journey. 

To navigate these complicated feelings, it can be helpful to plan ahead with strategies for coping with the uncertainty of how you might feel. This can help provide both physical and mental relief, and maintain a sense of control and empowerment during a busy season that can bring along much emotional baggage. 

Strategy One: Prioritize booking appointments with your providers before their schedules (and yours) fill up. Towards the end of the year, clinics get busier as insurance benefit deadlines approach. Planning by booking appointments helps you get in to be seen when you need to, and sets you up for success in the year ahead. The consultations you should prioritize booking before year’s end are with your PCP, OBGYN, and/or REI (reproductive endocrinologist). They can help order any diagnostic testing you may still need. It’s also recommended to see a mental health provider or search for one if you don’t have one already. Your mental wellness is just as essential as your physical wellness and should be prioritized. Bonus tip: Making a timeline or checklist can help you keep track of who you have already seen, what testing you still need, and who you still need to book an appointment with. 

Strategy Two: Focusing on small habits that support fertility wellness is key. This is not the time to overhaul your entire lifestyle. Small, consistent changes are better than significant changes that are unsustainable. It’s ok to have the pie for dessert, AND to also fill your plate with nourishing vegetables and fruits. Have a celebratory drink, and then follow it up with adequate hydration. Many people travel during this time, disrupting their sleep schedules. When you can, try sneaking in a catnap or a 20-minute rest; even just 10 minutes of lying down can be rejuvenating. Engage in movement that feels good, like walking and stretching. Adhering to a strict workout routine may feel like too much, and that’s ok. It’s about consistency, not perfection. 

Tip three: Understand the things that trigger you most, and do what you can to avoid them, or come up with strategies beforehand to deal with them. Maybe it’s the family member that asks every year when you’re having kids (this can be especially common in cultures where infertility is still heavily stigmatized). Or perhaps it’s the myriad number of pregnancy announcements. Have a plan, and stick to it. If you need to leave a gathering early, leave. If you need a script to rehearse common questions people ask, use it. Identifying a support buddy — like a partner, friend, or even your favorite cousin — can provide a buffer and help you feel like you’re not holding boundaries alone. Joy at gatherings and grief around where you thought you’d be can both coexist. 

Tip four: Open communication with your partner or support system is critical during this time. You should align your expectations around holiday events (which celebrations you’re attending, what signal to use when you’ve reached your limit, etc). It’s also important to discuss your conception plans for the season, such as whether you’ll keep trying or if taking a break for the holidays feels right. You also might want to consider having a financial planning discussion about possible treatment to help you conceive, and if that is something you can afford, should you have to go down that road. Remember: it is a partnership, and you do not have to carry the mental load on this journey alone. 

Tip five: Make time for joy! Your fertility journey should not eclipse living your life. Take the time you need to feel however you feel, but don’t stop leaning into the things that bring you joy, no matter how big or small. You are so much more than your fertility journey. Try journaling with this reflection prompt: What do I want to remember most about this season?

In closing: You deserve rest, nourishment, and hope this season. Full Bloom Fertility is here to help you find all those, and more. If you need some extra TLC this time of year, we’ve got you. Join me for a virtual workshop on November 14 to discuss Building Emotional Resilience During the Fertility Journey, co-hosted with a licensed therapist. 

We are here for you!